she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
