For some reason, my father is not responding to the 5 texts I sent him that all read: "Dad dad dad dad dad dddaadd dddddaaaaaaaaad dad".
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
Randomize
