Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
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