Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
Randomize
