so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
Randomize
