She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
Randomize
