Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
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