so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
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