when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
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