i was texting myself key events from last night so i could remember this morning. looked at my phone, texted my mother instead. our numbers differ by 1 digit
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
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