there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
Paycheck hits in 37 minutes and I literally just emptied my handle of Tito's. If that isn't budgeting like a fucking adult, I don't know what is.
Randomize
