Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
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