If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me
My phone has seen less use in the last three days than Tom Brady's condoms.
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
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