if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
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