hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
Randomize