Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
well you can't waste a boner
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
Randomize
