I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
decision: in honor of being in new orleans this weekend all my drunk texts will be en francais
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
So I just sent my ex a video snap chat of me getting head from some Venezuelan hottie with the caption I still love you. Think she'll take me back?
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
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