Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
Randomize
