You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
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