is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
Randomize
