Hey guys thanks for lettin me crash at your place for the weekend, I had a great time. PS I got three quarters of a hand job from an asian on the dance floor last night. True story.
Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
Randomize
