Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
Randomize
