So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
EMERGENCY FRIEND CRISIS: WE HAVE TOO MUCH WHISKEY. ABORT HANGING OUT WITH MELISSA, RECOMMEND TO HANG OUT WITH OUR WHISKEY INSTEAD
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
Randomize
