East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
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