i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
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