we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
There's even glitter on my cock...
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