Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
SEEEEXXX PLEASE
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
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