she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
Randomize
