I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
my tampon string is in my asshole... do you think i can get it out without anyone noticing?
i'd get off the bar first.
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
