Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
Is this like a preordered booty call?
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
Randomize
