It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
and i looked up. we had an audience...
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
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