i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
I licked your asshole in confidence.
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
Randomize