Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
Randomize
