at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
Our new roommate is sitting in the living room wearing a snuggie and clutching a handle of burnett's mixed with what appears to be crystal light and sobbing over a documentary about a dead race horse.
I know. Isn't she utterly fantastic?
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
Randomize
