HIV tests are more positive than that guy
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
Randomize
