We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
New strategy for telling if someone is drunk: will they attempt to drink a candle if you put a straw in it?
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