Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
We've already decided our costumes for next Halloween. She's going as Cookie Monster and I'm going as Elmo. She's just going to ask for Oatmeal Cookie shots, and I'm asking for Red-Headed Slut shots.
Dude, its January.
We're going to do the voices too.
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
Randomize
