i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
Sitting in bed reading a porn novel off my phone and accidentally just made Siri start reading the most graphic part aloud. FUN FIRST NIGHT WITH THE NEW ROOMIE.
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
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