Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
Randomize
