I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
i just renamed my vag "the sorting hat"
Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
Randomize
