Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
Dude I'm at a bar, and there's this Elvis impersonator here that I went to rehab with. Apparently Elvis has left the wagon.
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
Randomize
