What a fucking waste of an outfit
I woke up in my own vomit, a chunk of cactus in my thigh, shirtless, with jons mom poking at me with a glass of dr pepper and a talk about god....damn alcohol
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
Remember that St. Patrick's Day when I fucked your married coworker in his truck and the whole bar was chanting for you "Don't fuck Mike"?! #TheLuckOfTheIrish 🍀
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
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