One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
I'm jealous of your bromance
Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
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