you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
Randomize
