The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
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