i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
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