so that wasnt chicken after all
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize
