oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
Apparently 'check out this motherfucker' is not an appropriate greeting to use in the vicinity of sitting united states senators. Who knew
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
Randomize
