Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
Randomize