I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
Randomize
