At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
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