I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
Randomize
