She's JV to your varsity
I'm jealous of your bromance
I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
babies were throwing up all over the place
i wish there were pregnant emoticons
When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
how do you play pong handcuffed?
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
Randomize
