I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
Randomize
