So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
Randomize
