i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
ugly people sure do ruin things
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
When I told my mom I was having a rough time, she responded with "pop a xanax, take a nap, and when you wake up all will be right with the world." My mom is finally starting to shape up.
im calling her cock vulture from now on
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
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