11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
Reggie can tackle my bush.
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
I'm too high and old for this...
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
Randomize
